Through the years one of the great events in the churches I’ve been involved in has been the annual Mission’s Conference. As a result of these meetings I’ve had the privilege of meeting some of the greatest servants in the world. These men and women have sacrificed greatly to carry Christ’s message to the nations throughout the world. The conference of 1983 stands out in my mind. Our guests were Randy Stirewalt from Kenya, Gary Queen from Peru, and Gary Tomberlin from Brazil. These men were great speakers and used tremendous senses of humor to convey their messages.
We were having a Men’s Meeting on Saturday morning at the time and each of the missionaries used their personal testimonies while sharing with the men. It was a great time. Thursday evening Randy Stirewalt made a statement in his message that has stayed with me to this day. He said, “In our society it is apparent that we love things and often use people. We should love people and use things.” These words were such an encouragement and challenge to me that evening. Each time I think of the words they challenge me even more. Our lives should be centered on allowing Christ to let us use things to love people. Often when I do a lesson or give a devotion I use those great words. They help to keep our focus on how important our relationships are. It is so easy to get busy making a living or with own interests and forget our responsibility to those dependent upon us.
Another wise man, identity long since forgotten once said to me, “People don’t care so much about how much you know, but they would like to know how much you care.” We show how much we care by using things to love them. We get so guarded and possessive with the things we “own.” Let’s try to figure how to take those “things” and use them to make a difference for others. In my management classes at the college I’ve interjected these thoughts. In the context of getting to know those we work with and for, we can learn their needs and use the tools available to meet those needs and thus love them. When we train, evaluate, or communicate with our co-workers we can meet their needs. Evaluation especially is a tough process. Often an evaluator has taken the easy path and not given honest feedback. We owe each person direct, open, sensitive feedback that will allow growth to happen.
The major hindrance to using things to love people is committing our time. It is hard work to spend time getting to know them. The same can be said for our family members. We want to talk. To be successful in loving people we must learn to listen. In the mid-seventies I was leading the Youth Department at Grace Baptist Church in Wichita. One of the young people came to me disheartened about a perceived problem. He didn’t feel like he had any friends. He wanted my help. My first question was, “ Are you able to take the criticism that might be necessary and use my suggestions?” He indicated he needed the help and would make every effort to use my suggestions. I took him to Proverbs 18:24a,
"A man that hath friends must show himself friendly"
I asked what are the things that could be done to “show yourself friendly”? He really had no answer. I shared his tendency to interrupt when people tried to talk to him or others. I felt the first step for him was to learn to listen. In listening, he could get to know about others. Eventually they would want to know more about him. Over a period of time he felt more accepted and developed friendships based upon common interests. Looking back I can see that he had learned to “love people” through using the “thing” of listening. I hadn’t heard Randy Stirewalt’s comments then, but they were still so true.
The principle had also worked in my business. My first staff in Overland Park was quite unique. I have shared my experience with Ken Obermeyer, but I had another important lesson to learn during the 14 months of my assignment. When my promotion was announced I got a letter from the group. Its basic message was that if I was okay with Paul Hutsey (my Wichita Manager), then I was okay with them. The letter was very encouraging to me, but because of it I made some incorrect assumptions. Our Wichita office was more successful than Overland Park so I assumed our way of doing things was the only way. I soon found that there were many ways to do tasks and that different situations called for different approaches. My other assumption was that each of the men assigned to me needed the same thing from me. In addition, I thought that they all needed equal amounts of my time. Five of the men had more years of service than I was years old.
From them and from this experience I learned that you must get to know people in order to know their needs. It was a valuable lesson and worth the time in Overland Park if nothing else positive had happened. I had learned that to “love” these people I had to know how to be a problem solver for each of them in different ways. The rest of my management career has been enhanced by this lesson. The lesson grew even more when I learned the secret and value of “using things to love people.” Hopefully, this lesson can be important for each reader and the people that cross their paths.
No comments:
Post a Comment