I was wrong
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
These twelve words are of paramount importance in any interpersonal relationship and absolute requirements for a successful marriage. The words are not easy ones to say and even more difficult to say and mean. Many times using “you were right” is easier to say than “I was wrong.” Often our ego won’t let us admit our error. We have all known those who just can’t admit they are wrong. They try to shift blame or make excuses instead of just using those three simple little words.
"Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." James 5:16
In this confession we begin a true healing process with our mates. We cannot resolve the issues without this beginning of healing. When we come before another person in the spirit of humility, it is the beginning of mending the relationship. Once the admission of fault is made then clearing the air and saying “ I am sorry” is the next, natural step. Use these words carefully, especially since the prior admission has already broken the ice. The danger here is to use these words so often we trivialize them. When we continue saying we’re sorry for the same offense the other person realizes our lack of sincerity.
"For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin." Psalm 38:18
When we wrong another we have truly sinned. It is easy to try to call it something else. We can say it is a mistake, or try to pass blame to someone or something else. We can take a “devil made me do it” attitude. In reality we can move no further until we are truly sorry and can convey our sorrow to the person wronged. The progression continues as we ask, “Please forgive me.” If we stop short of this step, we do not clear the situation with the other person. They are required to forgive us. If they refuse an earnest request they have blocked their own possibility of being forgiven by our Heavenly Father.
"And when ye stand praying, forgive, If ye have ought against any: that your Heavenly Father also which is in Heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in Heaven forgive your trespasses." Mark 11:25,26
The first nine words are important. These final three are the spice that makes life worth living. It is so important to know that we are loved. Years ago I determined never to let my life partner go a day without telling her I love her. Sometimes the harder task is to consistently SHOW her I love her.
"Charity (love) suffereth long and is kind charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth. Beareth all things, believeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away." I Corinthians 13:4-8
In the human experience these twelve words, used sincerely re-energize strained relationships. They allow us to humble ourselves before those we love the most. In these days of “I” and “me” they give us opportunity to move even closer together.
"Whatever comes, this too shall pass away." Ella Wheeler Wilcox
"Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, it appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." James 4:14
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