Just being around for over half a century gives plenty of opportunity for lessons from life. I’ve already shared a few, but these next six seem to stand out in my mind at this point in my life. Next week it might just seem different. The following are in the order I learned them, not necessarily in order of importance.
Lesson #1 ALWAYS GET BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY!!!!! I don’t know how many times as a father, manager, school board member, or friend I had to break this rule before learning it. Hearing a story so well told and then reacting without further investigation can cause serious problems. Time spent picking up the pieces of over-reaction without full investigation can be devastating. Rebuilding the broken confidence and relationship is a difficult task and sometimes just doesn’t happen. Sergeant Joe Friday said it best: “Just the facts.” We always hear the story from the perspective of the storyteller. It may be accurate, but more often has a slant towards the interest of the person giving the information. Usually the real truth lies somewhere between the various positions.
Lesson #2 IT TAKES JUST A LITTLE MORE TO DO IT RIGHT!!! Sometimes we just don’t evaluate enough alternatives to come up with a solution that finishes the project right. My father-in-law always said not to take the cheapest or most expensive alternative. His view was one of moderation and completeness. Often the cheap route leaves an important element out. The expensive solution can contain parts that will never be used. “Haste makes waste” is another way to say the same thing. It seems like we are always somewhere between analysis paralysis and Quick Draw McGraw. Either we make a decision by not deciding or we jump in before we have nearly enough data. Short cuts often cause redo, and redo are more expensive than putting the effort into things in the first place. Patience to see the thing through to proper completion always pays huge dividends. Lesson
#3 YOU’RE NOT ALWAYS IN CONTROL!!! My wife gives me the best support in this area. She gently, and sometimes not so gently reminds me that I like to control the events of my life. I must remember to just step back and realize that I really control nothing at all in my life. When I teach I make sure everything is exactly in its place. For years I considered this a picture of my goal of being organized. I’m sure it is an element of organization, but it also illustrates my control temperament. Like so much of life this is an area that requires balance. Complete disregard can cause wasting of time. On the other hand, lightening up a little can generate a more relaxed atmosphere and allow a more free-flowing operation.
Lesson #4 THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH!!! I guess time has taught me the only free gift in life is the one Jesus provided for us on the cross. Everything else that comes along in life has attachments. I really don’t mean this in a negative way. In the big picture everything we are given comes with a responsibility. When we are given even the simplest item it will require care. In reality when we are given something it is done with the expectation of something in return. The something might be as simple as gratitude to the giver. It might also be done so that something of fairly equivalent value may be given in return.
Lesson #5 YOU LEARN MORE LISTENING THAN YOU DO TALKING!!! Early in my sales career I thought it was important to show the prospective client how much I knew about the product. I had been trained different than this, but had slipped into my own sales error. At a sales meeting I heard, “People do things for their reasons, not ours.” It occurred again to me that to know their reasons I must learn to listen, not talk. The sales process was much simpler when I used questions to learn the prospect’s goals and vision for their family financial security. The concept works outside of the sales world. It was the idea that gained the young man in my youth group many friends. Listening is how we learn about our family and friends. By doing so we can prepare to meet their needs.
Lesson #6 THE WEATHER GUESSORS ARE SELDOM RIGHT!!! My wife enjoys watching me agonize over the coming weather. She reminds me that it often changes several times before the day of concern. This is a fairly short lesson learned because it really illustrates the control issue again. I placed it here to remind you and even more to remind me, that I AM NOT IN CONTROL.
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